Warren who is a speaker, full-time writer and former spokesperson for Miss Black USA, Inc. writes about what she thought about what the clinic staff told her before her first abortion.
"It is no one's choice but the woman, and if she is not ready to become a mother, we are glad to be able to assist her in her decision."
C'mon. Even I knew that in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't my choice, and it definitely wasn't something I was proud of, but I guess after a while, that's what she had to tell herself to keep from going insane. I knew for the past week or os, I had been filling my mind up with ridiculous untruths for the exact same reason. Ones like, "It won't be so bad," "It will be over before you know it," "I can handle this on my own," and "I am through having sex... but if I do fall, I will always use protection."
After her third abortion, Warren writes:
I found myself continuously calling Reggie to see if he was going to keep his vow to always be there for me - that our relationship did not end once I got off the surgical table and his genes got out of my DNA. He always answered, he always listened, but I slowly found myself resenting him for not listening right, not talking right, not doing right. This was all wrong. The more he comforted me, the more I wanted our baby back, and the more I got up to change my pads due to the residual blood from the abortion, the more I realized I could never go back. I'd never know if our baby had my eyes or his nose. If it was a he, would he love to write like his mother? If it was a she, would she love playing ball like her dad?
She also shares that "(a)ll four fathers have told me they have grieved that loss in some form or fashion over the course of time, assuring me that the solution was not as cut and dried as they initially thought when I shared the news with them."