One destination is to say that they did nothing wrong when they had an abortion. For various reasons, the abortion was necessary and they had no other choice. There was no child at all, I wouldn't have been able to care for the child or the child is now in a better place. Abortion is necessary for women because throughout time women will always be faced with unplanned pregnancies and abortion must be an option.
Some of these women may even feel that other people having abortions are doing something wrong but that when they had their abortion, their reasons behind the decision make the decision ok.
The other destination is to say they made a mistake, they did something wrong when they had an abortion. Though abortion seemed like the only choice at the time, there were other, better options for me and my child. The child existed and I played a role in taking his or her life and that was wrong. Abortion is not the answer to an unplanned pregnancy.
I'm certain many post-abortive women fluctuate between these two destinations throughout their lives.
Reading the blog of one post-abortive woman made me wonder how often memories of the abortion and the circumstances around it can be skewed by how a woman is currently feeling about abortion. When Zygote (the post-abortive blogger) found she was pregnant (a little over a year ago) she was "consumed" with her decision, seemed to have struggled mightily with it and often used the words "baby" and "child" to describe what was growing inside her.
When recently discussing her abortion in the comments section of her blog with Christina, Zygote says (emphasis mine),
Please keep in mind, my situation is no where near as dire and desperate as other women in a crisis pregnancy. When I was pregnant I realized how lucky I was that an abortion was truly a choice for me and not a light at the end of the tunnel as is for so many other women.and
If it is, as you say, a trap then isn't it up to the individual to see it as such? Anecdotally, the 10 women I know in my life who have had an abortion are fine, well adjusted people who don't regret their abortion. They, and I, don't feel like we feel into a trap. We ended up in a situation, did what we felt was best and continued on with our lives.
Zygote's blog allow us to go back and see if that's how she felt around the time of her abortion.
In April of 2005, (shortly after her abortion) she said this:
"Do I regret what I did? No, I felt and feel like there wasn't another viable option."
In July of 2005, Zygote quotes a blogger who miscarried, received a D and C and wrote, "Women with an unwanted pregnancy probably feel just as trapped and scared as I did. I felt utterly violated by this procedure I was about to undergo — and I imagine that women who don't want to be pregnant feel every bit as violated by the presence of a heartbeat inside them" and then says of herself: "Trapped and scared? Oh, hell yes. Violated? Most definitely. Violated by the presence of a heartbeat? Not all. I felt violated by everything, but the heartbeat."
Zygote later adds, "I knew what outcome i wanted, but just.not.this.way. I was pleading with the universe for any other option."
UPDATED:Zygote has responded to comments I left at her blog regarding her comments above.