Controlling Terri

On Sunday, my wife and I watched the majority of Matt Lauer's interview with Michael Schiavo's interview on Dateline regarding the life and death of Terri Schiavo.

Unfortunately, Matt only had a couple of semi-tough questions for Michael and didn't follow up with tough questions when Michael said a number of things that didn't make sense to me. I am grateful though that Lauer shot Schiavo down when Michael tried to play that lame "they'd cut Terri's arms and legs off" card. It showed that Matt did at least a little homework. One moment that especially stuck out to me was right before Michael said, "we (he and Bobby Schindler) hate each other," he was about to say "I hate him (Bobby)" but caught himself and only mouthed the words.

Towards the end of the interview, after Michael talked about why he wouldn't let Terri's family into the room when she died and they showed Terri's tombstone ("I kept my promise"), my wife made what I think was a dead-on comment. She said something like, "It was all about control."

After a long court struggle with her parents filled with numerous accusations from all parties and numerous liters of bad blood being spilled, where the control of Terri's life and treatment were constantly up in the air, Michael Schiavo finally had control of a number of things at the end of Terri's life and after her death. And he took full control of them. He had control over who would be with Terri when she died. He had control over when and where Terri's remains would be buried and if he'd let the Schindlers attend the funeral. He had control over what would be written on her tombstone. Michael could finally take control and the Schindler's didn't have any say and after the long and painful legal struggle where he wasn't always in full control, I think he cherished that control.

He cherished being able to decide that he would be alone with Terri when she died. He cherished the idea that he could decide that the Schindlers wouldn't know about Terri's funeral. He cherished being able to stick it to the Schindlers on Terri's tombstone.

Terri's death was never about Terri's supposed wish. Terri's death and the long struggle over it was about Michael having control, being allowed to "win" and getting what he thought was best.