Are there ever times you feel a little – uncomfortable – with a woman's reason for having an abortion? We're not all Saints of Non-judgment, though some of us may strive to be. (Err…maybe some of us don't…)
Last week, a recent immigrant from an Asian country (I won't say which) came to our clinic for an abortion. I was the abortion counselor that day. She was in her second trimester and wanted to know if we could figure out the sex of the fetus. This isn't a completely strange question, but I don't get asked that often.
Because she was less than 18 weeks and because we don't perform diagnostic ultrasounds, I explained we wouldn't be able to identify the sex. I let her know that usually diagnostic ultrasounds to determine the sex are done between 18-22 weeks and that if she had a physician/midwife, she could schedule an ultrasound with them at that time (as it is standard practice).
She wasn't willing to wait at least another month to have an abortion. You know the drill: she'd have to travel out of state; the cost would be much higher; she'd have to spend time away from home; someone would have to watch her small daughter while she left the area (and explain why she needed a babysitter); and her husband would have to get a lot of time off work.
We don't ask patients why they want to have an abortion. Really, it's none of our business. Still, lots of women offer their reasons when we ask if they're sure of their decision, if they have support, etc.
The woman from last week calmly offered she didn't want to have a girl.
It's interesting how the Abortioneers don't seem to always grasp that the clinic experiences they often talk openly about often refute the talking points of abortion advocates.