After and before her abortion she was/is already rationalizing her abortion as being "for the best," "we weren't ready" and "we were thinking of our child as well."
Just two weeks ago she was saying things like "I'm losing everyone I love because I want to keep someone else I love alive."
After saying she thought she was going to abort, she crossed it off, and said, "I really don't think I should compromise my morals."
She was also preparing a room for her child.
"I only have a few more months to prepare, and I've already started re-arranging my room.
I am excited.
I hope you'll stay.
I hope you love us like you said you did."
Less than three weeks ago, Lydia wrote,
"If I have an abortion, I lose everything.
Sure, I feel like I've lost everything already because I am without you...but if I kill this innocent life, I lose it all. I lose the baby. I lose you. I lose me.
It wont fix anything. It'll make life less difficult because you'll be okay with not dealing with a problem that isn't a potential "burden" to you anymore. It'll make me feel like a murderer. I'm sorry you can't see how passionate I am about life. How precious life is. How perfect it is when it's formed. I'm sorry I cherish and almost worship that and my morals. I'm sorry I love someone I haven't even met yet, and that's wrong in your eyes."
Now, after the abortion she writes, "I know I cannot regret this because I understand it was for the best."
How quickly deciding to have an abortion and having an abortion can change what someone thinks about abortion.