One day after her abortion she writes,
All day long, I've hated myself. Of course, my wound is so open and new. Ive regretted. I got angry with my mother because she didn't encourage me to keep him; I got angry with my bf because he didn't stand up and left me so alone and forced to convert me; I hate myself because i laid down there with my own free will eventually, I could have got up and left, but I didn't. I even got angry with God because He didn't intervene somehow. I though there might have been a car accident or anything that might have kept me from going there. I was looking for someone to blame. I thought about not talking to my BF ever. However, I couldn't do it either because when I came home, I found a message in my voicemail from him. I called him back. He was so upset, just like me. He was regretful. We both agreed that it was a wrong decision, poor judgment. He told me that he is not angry at me, and I told him that I forgive him also. I cried, he cried. At the end, he asked me if I would like to hold a funeral for him.