"i'll leave what we'll do up to you"

In her journal, An E-mail to God, a woman named Kevilyn discusses her recent abortion (this appears to be her second abortion), her recent marriage (Warning - and sex life - somewhat graphically) and how she and her husband interact with God.

When she initially found out she was pregnant (around July 25), she seemed excited, describes her child as a "baby," told her soon-to-be husband he'd be a daddy again (they have young son named Benjamin) and then told him she'd leave the decision up to him.

The next day (on July 26) she writes, "and he responded on weather we'd keep this baby... i honestly thought he would want it, to y surprise he initialled an abortion....ooooohhh

really i think its not only the right thiing to do but the best thing to do... i hadnt told anybody but toya,.....

At first I thought he was playin about the abortion but I learned later, no he wasnt... "

She describes her abortion on August 5 and says, "by the time we got there we had quite a wait and thouh they told me it was alright to Bring Ben, when the people complained he was asked to leave, that agitated me.. the wait was long, and there were sooo many people there ironically Ive never been to an abortion clinic that wasnt packed..not one day of the week........this doctor went right in, took the baby right out..."

Two days after the abortion she writes, "I noticeed when Aaron prayed he asked God's forgiveness, it was as if he thought what we had done was wrong.. I had hardly had time to give thought to that baby at all...or atleast I didnt allow myself to.....

Then it happened after we had come from the mall and chillin all day at 2:30 a I thought of the baby and I cried there in Aaron's arm, he said it will be ok... and he was silent... weather good or bad the decision is made and it is done, I know it would have been way too hard for us, I know we probably would have had it real bad if we tried to have both kids on our income and so much more.. we would have had to go down to poverty and my school prolonged kmore.. thats common sense.. in the end it was the right thing to do it just hurts we had to do it."