"Those foolish prolife feminists!"

Patricia Beninato's recent rant regarding feminism is worth commenting on.

I have always wondered why the antis seem to have this idea that abortion is compulsory, or that women are forced to make that decision. There have ALWAYS been options.

I wonder what Beninato thinks when she reads stories on her web site where the woman claims that abortion was her only choice or option like Ali's:

I agonized over the decision and spent many hours crying, alone, waiting for him to come home. I decided that I really had no choice but to have an abortion and the father agreed to come with me, to make the process as easy as possible.

or Zelda's: There was no way I could support three children on my own. I informed the doctor of my decision and she was very supportive.

There may be options but many women feel that they don't have an option. Abortion is the only choice they feel they have. But to answer Beninato's question, prolifers have the idea that abortion can be seen as compulsory to women because they read testimonies of post-abortive women on prolife and pro-choice web sites.

Then again, if you read the anti story sites, no woman ever states that it was solely her decision. The abortion was done to please the husband/boyfriend (who usually ended up leaving anyway) or the parents who wouldn't pay for school or didn't want a grandchild ... "someone ELSE wanted it, not MEEE! I'm a GOOD girl! I WANT to have babies!"

Interestingly, the pro-choice women on Beninato's site often do the same thing. Sometimes the decision for abortion is made because the woman already has born children like Zelda or Cindy and doesn't want to endanger their livelihood. Sometimes it's because of finances like Cheryl (warning expletive language) and Amy. Stories often end with the woman saying that she eventually wants to have children, just not now. Why do pro-choice women on a pro-choice web site feel the need to say that they want to have children eventually?

"Pro-life feminists" are a particularly virulent strain. In their reasoning, every woman wants nothing more than to bring forth children, and damn the man who makes her choose otherwise.

Unfortunately, Beninato provides no evidence for this assertion. The prolife feminist whom signed her guest book says nothing of the sort. I've visited Feminists for Life web site on numerous occasions and I've never seen anything like that. This seems to be kind of a reverse "barefoot and pregnant" argument where if a feminist is against abortion, then she must think that women aren't fully women until they have children.

Here are a few more quotes from the women at her site that say they aren't sorry about their abortion.

Bloss: "Having an abortion hasn't really emotionally damaged me, that I can tell. I'm still really lazy and find it hard to get motivated to do work, and spend an unhealthy amount of time on abortion sites and communities, but perhaps that's part of the healing process. As before the abortion, I sometimes see infants and have a desire for a child, but that doesn't make me grieve for the possibility I just lost. When I am in a situation to be a better mother, I will be overjoyed to get the same news. But now was not the time, and I'm not sorry."

Brooke: Its something you'll ALWAYS deal with. You don't just have an abortion (nor a child) and then mystically FORGET about it.. For the rest of your life you'll remember it. And whether it was the RIGHT option for YOU. I would NEVER say that it is something to be taken easily, but A lot of the pro-life party will tell you that all women who have abortions live with a tumultuous guilt complex afterwards... Not always true. I don't. I feel that my decision in ALL respects was RIGHT.

Shannon: I remember what it was like vividly, the sounds, the discomfort during the dialation and the evacuation. It was eerie. I had a lot of emotional ups and downs in the following months. Some years around the time of the abortion I get a little emotional. I know that we did not want that baby. I know I wouldn't have been a good mother. I wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to be a dad either. It was not always easy, but I do not regret my decision.

Rebecca: Sometimes I think about what it would have been like to have the baby, and every time I do I am thankful for the choice I was able to make. I do want children someday, when I am financially and emotionally prepared to care for them. And I know the soul of the child I didn't have found its way to another family who loves him. It wasn't an easy choice to make but I will always be grateful that I was able to make it, and I know I made the right decision for me.